Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Life and Times of Goofball

Hey there. Long time no type, huh? Sorry that I have been incommunicado, but our world has been turned upside down with the arrival of Ricky. Talk about a change. Sleeping in is a thing of the past, since Ricky wakes between 5 and 6 most mornings. Lounging and watching daytime TV isn't the same because Terri Poppins is always hanging around. Don't get me wrong, I think the baby sitter earns her keep. You couldn't pay me enough to change diapers and wipe up spit. I'm serious. Even for $1 million, I would not lift a paw to change a diaper. I suppose for $1 million I could outsource the job to someone like Terri Poppins. Ricky seems to like Terri, so I put up with it. But what I cannot put up with are the programs that Terri watches. Did you know that The Price is Right is still on? It is, and the set looks pretty much like it did during the 1970s. For that matter, Bob Barker looks about the same as he did in the 1970s. The show is an inane tribute to consumer culture.

Wagsy: Um ... hello, Goofball! I couldn't help but over hear your typing and I was wondering if you hate every aspect of the Price is Right. Your complaints sounds more like Pudge Bear than Goofball.

Goofball: I don't know what you are trying to imply. I'm my own bear. I make my own decisions. I'm smart enough to use words like "inane" and phrases like "consumer culture." I've got better uses of my time than watching women jump around and kiss Bob Barker and watching the Plinko disk fall.

Wagsy: Um ... is that true? I don't think anyone really dislikes Plinko.

Goofball: Okay, you're right. There is something hypnotic about it. But I don't like the show. The games are stupid -- except for Plinko, which is stupid but mesmerizing.

Wagsy: Um ... what about Cliff Hanger?

Goofball: What about it? It's a bad Sylvestor Stallone movie. What self-respecting action movie features John Lithgow prominently?

Wagsy: Um ... no, no, that isn't what I meant. What about the Price is Right game named Cliff Hanger?

Goofball: What are you trying to imply?

Wagsy: I heard you yodeling the Cliff Hanger song.

Goofball: What! How?! I only sing that when I am alone.

Wagsy: I heard you over the baby monitor.

Goofball: Get out of here! This is my post. Vamoose!

Moose: Moose!

Wagsy: Um ... are you embarassed about yodelling, Goofball?

Goofball: I do not yodel! You got that straight? The Goofball does not yodel.

Wagsy: Um ... the baby monitor says otherwise.

Goofball: Do you believe everything you hear over the baby monitor?

Moose: Moose!

Wagsy: Um ... yeah, yeah, I guess I do.

Goofball: I'm ending this post right now.

Wagsy: Um ... goodbye, Goofball.

Moose: Moose!


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