Thursday, June 08, 2006

Birth Announcement

I am pleased to announce the birth of a young scholar, Ricky Nelson. The reports I have heard is that he is a fine and healthy young man and that Harriet is also doing well.

I must admit that I take a special joy in the birth of young Ricky. I have never guided a young intellect from birth. Harriet came under my tutelage at the age of 6, which is sufficiently early to teach rudimentary skills. However, by the age of 6 many children already have ingrained habits and tastes that cannot be rectified. For instance, Harriet possesses an appreciation of country music that I find unfathomable. Friends in low places often share low tastes.

I face no such barriers with the young Mr. Ricky Nelson. We shall begin his education with Mozart and gradually move to Beethoven and Brahms. He will read canonical translations of the Iliad and the Odyssey. I would like to teach the young sir ancient Greek for a fuller appreciation of these great works, but I fear that neither Ozzie nor Harriet show the slightest aptitude for languages. Thus, I shall set more realistic goals.

Sigh. Ozzie poses something of a challenge. I hesitate to describe his lifestyle as uncouth, but it is at the very least unconventional. Ozzie is a passable scholar and possesses fine taste in novels and music, but too often he descends into intellectual laziness with his workmanlike prose and fondness for disco and basketball. I once saw him eat an entire dinner with his hands. I have severe reservations about my ability to properly educate the young Ricky with Ozzie throwing a wrench into the works.

Perhaps I can arrange a lengthy sabatical in Madagascar for Ozzie. A year or two without his meddlesome interference in my pedagogy should allow me to inoculate Ricky from Ozzie's intellectual Gomorrah.

3 Comments:

Blogger Wagsy said...

Um ...

I'm not ready!

I'm not ready!

I'm not ready!

um ...

I'mnotready!
I'mnotready!
I'mnotready!

10:26 PM  
Blogger Goofball said...

Congratulations, Harriet. I look forward to meeting the young whipper-snapper.

By the way, Pudge, how did you hear about the birth before the rest of us? Who is your source?

10:26 PM  
Blogger Lynn said...

Beary BIG congratulations on the new little People in your home! Don't let Ricky travel to Madagascar, even with stuffies! Peoples need to learn about Peoples' things before learning about stuffies' things! How old do you think your new little People will be before he discovers Mommy's life with stuffies?! Kehehehehe

Teddy T. and Spaulding T. Bear
http://spauldingtbear.bravejournal.com

11:52 AM  

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