Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Crimes Against Bears

I sincerely apologize for the long silence on the blog. Given our druthers, we bears would prefer to be posting about the myriad of activities in our household. Sadly, Ozzie has been too tired to assist our recounting. As Ozzie's academic mentor I can not complain since his efforts should be put towards getting tenure. However, the fact remains that the bears are bored and we miss the blog. We shall resume blogging in the next day or two.

But news of an international calamity needs to be addressed immediately and widely disseminated. Hundreds of teddy bears perished in Wookey Hole Caves when a doberman named Barney viciously attacked the innocent teddy bears. The murderous beast showed no mercy and offered no explanation for the carnage. The AP described the scene thusly:

Barney ripped the head off a brown stuffed bear once owned by the young Presley during the attack, leaving fluffy stuffing and bits of bears' limbs and heads on the museum floor. The bear, named Mabel, was made in 1909 by the German manufacturer Steiff.

I would like to commend the AP for running a story on teddy bears when the Middle East is in an uproar. Most news agencies would dismiss the story as a fluff piece and ignore the rights of the teddy bears in question. Moreover, the paragraph excerpted above describes the scene vividly (just on the correct side of lurid), and demonstrates a definite sympathy for the teddy bears.

However, I must object to the focus upon Mabel, the bear owned by Elvis Presley. While I am sure that Mabel suffered while watching her owner self-destruct towards the end of his life, she is no more or less inherently worthy of eulogizing than any of the other hundred bears who perished in the children's museum. By my count, Elvis is mentioned four times in the story and not a single other bear is mentioned. There is not even an accurate body count provided. I hope that the AP follows up on the story and releases more details of this tragedy.

Our sincerest and furriest condolences go out to the family and friends of the teddy bears who were harmed.

Addendum: A picture of the crime scene can be found here. It is clear from Barney's expression that he shows no remorse for his attack. From the description in the article it is difficult to know whether security man Greg West is a hero for saving the remaining bears or an enabling or inept accomplice to the crime. I hope we learn additional details soon.


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