Wednesday, April 19, 2006

For every good turn there is an equal and opposite turn

Ozzie: Waaaaaagsyyyyy! Ooooooh, Waaaaaagsy!

Wagsy: Um ... hello! How are you, Ozzie?

Ozzie: Oh, I'm doing okay, but I am a little upset with you. I thought we had a deal.

Wagsy: Oooh! You're upset with me? Um ... why? Is it because I forced you to talk to Harriet?

Ozzie: No, that isn't it. Guess again.

Wagsy: Is it because I called you a "pillowhead" and "cheesecake butt?"

Ozzie: Can't say I was particularly happy about that, but no that isn't why I am upset.

Wagsy: Um ... gee ... um ... I don't know. I don't do a whole lot during the day, so I don't know how I could upset you. Um ... are you jealous of my leisurely lifestyle?

Ozzie: No. I'm upset because you violated our deal.

Wagsy: Um ... what part of the deal are you talking about?

Ozzie: Come on, you like games. Guess.

Wagsy: Um ... I have stuffin' for brains and ... um ... I don't like all this ... um ... passive aggressive mocking. So ... um ... why don't you just spill the beans? Why are you upset?

Ozzie: Glad you asked. You gave me a broken wife.

Wagsy: Um ... I don't know what you mean.

Ozzie: Oooh, don't you?!

Wagsy: Um ... just because I am a teddy bear doesn't mean that I have to sit here and take this.

Ozzie: You're welcome to get up and leave any time you like. Come on, get up and walk on out of here. I'd like to see that.

Wagsy: Um ... I'm actively choosing to sit here and talk to you. So there. And ... um ... besides ... you're talking to me, so ... um ... your implication is a little silly.

Ozzie: Fair enough, but that still doesn't excuse you making Harriet cry.

Wagsy: Oooh! What did I do? Um ... how did I make here cry?

Ozzie: I'm not sure. It sounds like you were sitting in the crib looking especially cute.

Wagsy: Um ... is that a bad thing?

Ozzie: No. Looking cute is a good thing. But she's crying now because of it.

Wagsy: Um ... I'm confused. This isn't my fault.

Ozzie: You're the one who is sympatico with her. You get in there and figure out how to make her stop crying.

Wagsy: Um ... am I supposed to take a moral from this? I ... um ... still think you were wrong yesterday.

Ozzie: No, I was in the wrong. I'll fully admit that. I just wanted to point out that the crying was not a good indication of how wrong I was.

Wagsy: Um ... do I still have to go in there and get all salty?

Ozzie: Sure do, dog. Enjoy. I'll be playing Mah-jong with Florida retirees on-line.


Post a Comment

<< Home