Vegetative State

Like sometimes do you ever feel like you just don't fit in? I mean you look around and everyone is totally into something and you can't see the appeal. Like a few years ago Paris and Lindsey were wearing these boots with all this fake fur on top, but the look left me cold. I just couldn't get into it, ya know? Every time I looked at the boots, I kinda felt like one of my relatives had been turned into clothing and that isn't cool. I'm a slave to fashion, but there shouldn't be slaves making fashion. That is why I am totally against sweatshop labor.

Soooooo, the point is that I sometimes don't understand popular trends. I know you're sitting there thinking, "Buffy, aren't you like a trend setter? Why do you care about what other people are doing now?" And the people thinking that are some of the smartest people in the world and totally 100% right. But there are two types of trend setters in the world.

First, there are the visionaries who are like WAAAAY ahead of their time. They have their own thing that they want to share with the world, but like the world doesn't get it at all, but the artist like totally keeps at it, but is all frustrated because there is nobody to share things with and stuff. And then like years and years later, other artists understand what was up and then brings the ideas to the ordinary people and then everyone is like "Whoa, now I totally understand what that original visionary was up to." But like up until then, the visionary was like poor and living in some busted apartment in a lame part of town. I can think of a bunch of examples off the tip of my snout:

• The Velvet Underground totally inspired lots of popular groups in the 80s, but they like sold only a handful of albums. I'm not sure how the distributor knew to send those few albums to little kids who would grow up to be famous, but like he totally succeeded. Maybe they should have sold them to older kids so the Velvet Underground would have been famous faster.



• Everyone thought Van Gogh was a freak until he has been painting for years and years. And then I guess they still thought he was a freak, but they recognized that his paintings were beautiful and hung them up in their bathrooms and discount stores.



• Alec Guiness was a truly great actor, but like all of his work was over in England and like you almost never see those movies at the local Cineplex. But then he played Obi-won Kenobe and everyone thought, "Dude, that Obi-won Kenobe can like really act. Who is that old guy?" Like Sir Alec would have been bigger than Robin Williams if he had been in an action movie earlier in his caeer. Maybe if he had played James Bond during the 50s things would have worked out differently for him.



• Nietzsche, he was like poorer than most graduate students for most of his life. By the time he became famous, he had syphilis and his brain had turned to oatmeal. Totally tragic.

So like for all of these visionaries, like they didn't care that nobody noticed how cool they were. They were totally committed to their art and thought people would eventually think they were cool. And that is fine for them, but like I don't have a craft that I am committed to. I'm committed to being famous and like I don't want to be poor and live in a busted apartment in nowhere'sville.

That leads us to the second type of trend setter, the person just in front of the wave. You know, those people who aren't doing anything REALLY new, but are original enough that people worship the ground they walk on and give them lots of money. Oh my god, there are so many examples of these types of people. Madonna is like totally my hero and totally ripping off other people's ideas. She knows that you just have to sell it better than anyone else. And she totally does and for that reason she's like really famous and really rich and people know all about her. Tom Hanks isn't as good an actor as John Malkovich, but he'll take these really normal roles and do just good enough a job to make people want to see the movie. And what do Madonna and Tom Hanks have in common? They are all really rich, totally famous, completely glamorous, and I want to be just like them. They don't have to bring anything new, they just have to act the part.

And not having new ideas doesn't mean you can't still be intense. Like if you're a musician, being brooding and intense is all part of the image that you totally crafted. I mean I *love* Coldplay and think that Chris Martin is totally hot, but like they aren't doing anything Radiohead hasn't done before. But people can listen to Coldplay at Starbucks, and Radiohead like weirds people out. I know the intensity is all an act, cuz I've seen Chris interact with Gwyneth and Apple (btw, who names their child after a fruit? Weird). He's like all sweet and smiley. But teenagers want to see angst, so you have to frown and keep four days of stubble at all times. There is a reason that the band is named Coldplay and not Warmplay.

Aaa-n-ee-ways, I got off track. Like the point is that to be really famous, you have to be just ahead of the wave. So like it is totally important to me to find out what the wave is now. I mean like surfers go out and paddle around and look like dorks so that they can find themselves on a good wave and look totally hot. I need to do the same thing. So I had to find out why Garden State is so popular with kids today. I mean college kids are describing it as the movie that captures their generation.

Like, I think I just wrote the longest introduction to a movie review in the history of the internet. I'm exhausted. I'll have to review the movie later. Peace.