Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Happy Birthday, Harriet!

Um ... hello! Today is a very special day in the bed. Today is Harriet's birthday. Yeah, yeah. We're all very excited. We have a lot planned for today. We all worked together and tried very hard to show Harriet how much we love her. She knows that we love her every day, but birthdays are a good time to make the special effort and go the extra mile.

Of course, um ... teddy bears aren't very good at going the extra mile. We have very short legs and we ... um ... like to take naps, which gets in the way of walking an extra mile and ... um ... well, we're not very mobile. So we have to rely on the cheesecake butt to help us. That ... um ... poses a problem for us bears. You see, Ozzie isn't always the most reliable assistant to the bears. He ... um ... sometimes forgets things like, well, Christmas, or birthdays. Um ... he buys Harriet presents from him, but he doesn't always remember to help us out. Pillowhead.

Um ... anyways, this year we were going to cash in all the change in the bear bank and buy Harriet a body pillow. Ooh, it looks verrry soft. It is made out of space age poly-mers and responds to body heat. It is like a bigger version of Goofball without a head or arms or legs. Um ... actually, it doesn't look like Goofball at all, but we think Harriet will enjoy sleeping with it. But it took us a while to come to this concensus.

Buffy: Okay, guys, like what are we going to buy Harriet for her birthday? It's like totally coming up, you know. We better like move fast or we'll miss it like a near sighted baseball player.

Wagsy:
Um ... does anyone have any good idea?

Platy:
I think we should get her an airplane. You can go places in those.

Wagsy:
Oooooh! That is a good idea, Platy. Harriet likes to travel. I don't know where we would park a plane, but I suppose that is Ozzie's concern.

Buffy:
Like I think that an airplane would be totally crunk, I mean only the truly wealthy and successful celebrities have their own plane, but like I don't think we can afford it.

Goofball:
I agree with the aardvark, good idea what there is no way we can afford it. Stuffy! How much money do we have in the bank? Enough to buy a plane?

Gladstone:
Surely, you jest. We couldn't possibly have more than fifty US dollars in our bank.

Goofball:
Okay, so the plane is out. Anyone else have any ideas?

Duck:
Quack quack quack quack quack. QuaCK QUAck quack. Quack, quACK quack quaCK. QUACK! QUACK! Quack.

Goofball:
I hear what you're sayng, Duck, but I'm not sure I understand. Hasn't that been done before?

Moose:
Moose!

Buffy:
Like we need to get Harriet something that really spoils her and makes her feel like a princess. But like the whole prob is that you can't really do that for fifty dollars. I mean, like an hour at a good masseuse costs more than that and that like disappears when you hour is over.

Amelia:
What about a body pillow?

Wagsy:
Ooooh! A body pillow. That sounds nice. Um ... what is a body pillow?

Amelia:
It is a pillow you sleep with to keep your spine in alignment. It stretches from your head to your knees and you wrap your body around it.

Buffy:
That is a totally fabulous idea, Amelia.

Goofball:
Wait a minute here. Wait just one minute. It sounds to me that with a pillow in the bed, that means less bedtime cuddling for the rest of us. Actually, it means less bed time cuddling for George and myself since we are the ones Harriet sleeps with most of the time. I don't like the idea of being replaced by a polyurethane pilon!

Moose:
Moose!

Wagsy:
Now, Goofball, we all have to make some sacrifices in order to make Harriet happy.

Goofball:
You're just saying that because Harriet will stop stealing your bunny if she gets the pillow. Well, I ain't gonna stand for this type of insult. I'm being displaced and I am NOT happy about it.

Buffy:
Like chill out, Goofball. Like no one is going anywhere or being replaced. You could come over and hang with Amelia and I when she uses the body pillow. Besides, the pillow goes between her legs; you're like up on her head and stuff. She can still wear you as a hat at night.

Wagsy:
So everyone is agreed that we'll buy Harriet a body pillow?

Goofball:
I still ain't happy about it.

Wagsy: Goofball.

Goofball: Oh, alright. You know I can't say no to that girl.


Um ... so we went to Ozzie with the gift idea. The only problem was that ... um ... Ozzie never got around to ordering it. He did research and even placed one in an on-line shopping , but he never hit purchase. Pillowhead. So the bears will have to wait to give Harriet her birthday gift.

But we can still wish her a happy birthday!

And we can give her a lobster!

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