Sunday, February 13, 2005

Teddy Bear Poetry

Hey there. I know all of you were expecting me to write about the Super Bowl. How do I know? Because a few zealous readers wrote asking my thoughts on the Super Bowl. I appreciate my fans out there, but there is more to the Goofball than sports commentary. I'm a bear of love, poetry, dancing, and fine films. Sports are just a sideline so I have something to talk about with Ozzie (since he doesn't write poetry, dance, or watch fine films).

But a couple of the writers were less than polite in their requests and deserve a special response. The Goofball is all about politeness and sensitivity, so I will offer my response in form of haiku:

Get covered in lint
Watch the damn game for yourself
and get off my back

I suppose that wasn't very polite, was it? I don't care! A couple of those jerks were rude to me. But that doesn't seem very fair to the other writers. Here is another haiku for them:

The Super Bowl was
between teams I don't care for
Waiting for Packers.

Ah ... that's more like it. Polite, direct, and poetic. I like Haiku. The Japanese have given us so much: cheap radios and cameras; good televisions; reliable cars; The Power Puff Girls; and haiku. I am a good student in the art of haiku. Shiki taught that haiku should have a seasonal theme. The Super Bowl is kind of seasonal. But Hekigoto believed that haiku should have a local theme or be taken from daily life capturing a first impression. The two haikus I just composed don't fit that description. I think I can do better.

South Bend has many
steak houses lining Grape Road
too bad I don't eat

Hmmm ... not quite satisfying. The last line, while true -- I don't eat because I'm a teddy bear, negates the previous two. Maybe I should have ended it "cattle run in fear." That adds a nice natural element to it. Or, I suppose I could make it more seasonal with "Shame about the rain."

I dunno. Steak houses are definitely part of the local flavor, but it doesn't capture MY daily life.

The bear in the bed
likes to snuggle with women
and get lots of sleep

What can I say? It just wrote itself. The Goofball's life summarized in seventeen syllables.

Well, that's it from the Goofball. Still spectating and speculating in The Bend.


Blogger Wagsy said...

Um, Goofball, I really like your insult. "Get covered in lint." I think I will use it on the pillowhead tonight.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Pudgie said...

I, too, admire the ripost in your post, Goofball. Well done.

But I think the central genius of your post lies in the "Bear in the Bed" poem. What a fitting summation the blog. It very much captures the ethos of "Furry Thoughts for Fuzzy Times."

I doff my mortar board and applaud your artistic endeavors, Goofball.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Like, the haiku is good for Goofball, but what about me? I mean I like cuddling with Alexandra, but not women in general. Maybe my haiku could read:

The bear in the bed
likes to snuggle with Brad Pitt
and get lots of sleep

That sounds about right.

3:46 PM  
Blogger (d)avid said...

Goofball, did you think that "too bad I don't eat" simply captures your alienation from South Bend and its local culture? I don't see a negation in there at all. Well done throughout.

4:18 PM  
Blogger Goofball said...

I just have seventeen syllables for all of you:

The artist dislikes
commentary on his work
Please cease your chatter

Nah, I'm just playing with y'all. Thanks for the props. I try my best to please.

4:24 PM  

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