A Valentine for Ozzie

Um ... hello. Happy belated Valentine's Day. The bears are a little miffed at Ozzie at the moment. We missed Valentine's Day and he's supposed to help us with things like that. Ooh, we bears aren't very good at keeping track of time. Maybe it is because we nap for most of the day. Have you ever woken up from a nap and not known where you are or what day it is? We teddy bears feel that way most of the time. I guess we have stuffin' for brains, too. It's hard to know whether it is the naps or the polyester filling that causes our memory lapses. Maybe Pudgie can figure it out when he writes his book.

Um, well, I figured the best way to get even with Ozzie was to send him a Valentine on the blog. Ozzie gets very upset when I say "I love you" or call him "Daddy." I'm not quite sure why he gets so mad. He just says "Oh, brother, not again" and rolls over. I like teasing Ozzie, so I say it every now and then to get under his skin. I can't say it too often, or the big cheesecake butt holds me up by one leg and threatens to use me as a Swiffer. Ooh!

At first, I wasn't so sure about Ozzie. He seemed very uncomfortable talking to teddy bears, muttering something about "childhood neu-ros-es being unhealthy." I don't know what he was talking about. I think it is good for a person to have loyal and personable teddy bears. Harriet and I are sympatico. I know just when she is cranky or happy or needs a hug.

Um, and I also know how to upset Ozzie ...

I love you, daddy!


PS In order to avoid any confusion, I know Ozzie isn't really my father and I don't call Harriet "Mommy." Um ... I was purchased from Toys R' US and was made in China. I just say things like this to annoy Ozzie. It works, too.

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Editors Note: Well done, Wagsy. But a man can take only so much.