Monday, March 28, 2005

Goings on

Um ... hello. Sorry that we haven't been posting lately, but we've been very busy. A lot of people think that teddy bears don't have busy social calendars, but it just isn't true. Our daily schedules usually look a little like this ...

7:00 a.m. Wake up and sabotage the alarm clock (pushing it back half an hour)

7:30 Pounce on Harriet, so she doesn't get out of bed and we get more cuddling.

8:00 We start to feel guilty about keeping Harriet in bed, so we push her out to take a shower.

8:30 Look cute and try to lure Harriet back into bed to cuddle.

8:45 Tell Harriet that she needs to go to work so we can have cable television.

9:00 No, really ... you do need to go to work, Harriet. We then get Ozzie to drag her into the car.

9:30 After all that activity, we generally need a nap.

11:00 Bear flex time. I generally practice looking furry. Buffy grooms herself. Pudgie reads. Goofball stops to smell the roses. Lobby spars with Moose. Platy ... um, I'm not sure what he does. He just kind of disappears for a while.

12:00 Ooh ... flex time can be very tiring, so it is time for another nap.

1:00pm Post-naptime seminars. Oooh, these can be very fun. Past titles have included:

The Ten Habits of Highly Furry Bears

Preservation and Maintenance: See the Wool-lite

Dare to Stare: What's so wrong with watching the paint dry?

Advances in Napping Theory

Teddy Bear Couture: Like Fur's so Hot in 2000

How to Stay Plump in January

All New Fibers vs. Old Time Bears

Pillowhead or Cheesecake Butt? Adjectival References to Ozzie

Yeah, yeah. I don't what we will discuss next. We don't publish in journals or anything, but we take professional development very seriously.

2:00 Teddy bear roundtable. The bears meet to discuss the issues of the day. The agenda changes, so it is hard to characterize. Gladstone often reports on the bear bank finances. Lately we've been discussing our tactics in pushing for household voting rights. These meetings can difficult to orchestrate. When you have stuffin' for brains, it is difficult to concentrate on anything for very long. Usually the meeting ends when someone moves for a roll call vote and we realize that we can't find Platy. So we have to go look for him.

3:00 Um, two hours without a nap is two hours too many.

4:00 Oprah. Yes, we watch Oprah. When you wear a plaid pastel bowtie and you are white and furry, you don't need to look macho. Maybe we'd watch something else if we had cable, but we don't. Most of the television during the day isn't very nice. Most talk shows have a lot of yelling. The people on soap operas jump into bed with anyone. I suppose there are some bears like that too, but it just isn't the same thing at all. Um ... I'm uncomfortable, so I'm going to move on now.

5:00 The news comes on, so we turn off the TV. Ooh! A lot of bad things happen in the world and we just don't want to hear about them. Ozzie and Harriet will be home soon, so we all have to conserve our energy and take a nap.

6:00 Wake up from the nap and work at getting furry and comfy. Harriet likes it when we are soft and cuddly. Like Gladstone always says, "An ounce of preparation is worth a bottle of fabric softener."

6:30 Welcome home Ozzie and Harriet. Ooh, this is a good time of day. Harriet is usually feeling very cuddly. Sometimes Ozzie makes dinner and Harriet watches King of the Hill or reads a magazine. Yeah. Very high quality cuddling.

7:30 People flex time. Ozzie and Harriet do different things like eat dinner or talk to people or work. Sometime we nap during that period or sometimes we go our separate ways and enjoy more flex time. It really depends. So many decisions we have to make. It is enough to make a bear tired.

10:00 Pre-bedtime cuddling. Reading a book is always better with a bear.

11:00 Bed time. After a very busy and tiring day, the bears are ready for a lot of sleep. It is a shame that Harriet doesn't always sleep through the night.

So, you see, teddy bears are very active throughout the day. It is hard to find time to blog. It was even more difficult this past week, because we have been busy training baby bears. Yeah, yeah. Um ... Ozzie and Harriet know people with new babies, and the babies need bears, and the bears need to be properly trained. It might be the most important job we perform all year. We'll be posting all about it over the next couple of weeks. So stay tuned.

Ooh! That was a long post. I think it calls for a nap.


Post a Comment

<< Home