Tuesday, March 01, 2005

When will democracy come to the bears?

Um ... hello. Ozzie has been working from the bed lately. We like having the company, but he's a little boring, to be honest. He spends a lot of time typing or reading or surfing the web or playing spider solitaire. We try to encourage him to nap, but he seems impervious to the siren call of the teddy bears. Instead, we watch Ozzie's every move very intently. Teddy bears excel at staring.

Um, anyway, we've been reading a lot about the Middle East. Ooh! It's all so very complicated. Bears like simple relationships and I don't think there is any relationship in the Middle East that is simple. We wouldn't like the sand or the suicide bombers very much either. I think we'll stay in the bed and away from the Middle East for now.

But, I was thinking, and I know I only have stuffing for brains, but if the Iraqis can vote, and the Palestinians can vote, and the Egyptians will vote, and the Saudis voted in local elections, and the Lebanonese might have a meaningful vote again, why don't the bears have a vote in how the household is run?

I mean, we're part of the family. We're an important group of people with our own wants and needs. Why don't we have a vote? I suppose we don't care about how the kitchen operates, as long as we don't have to go in it. But what about the bed room or the bear room? We should get a say. And we out number Harriet and Ozzie, so we would win. Oooh, silk sheets would finally arrive.

Maybe the bears should stage a protest until we get a vote. Ooh! It could be fun coming up with slogans and posters.

"No relaxation without representation!"

"Vote Counts for Cuddling!"

"We're polyester not Pollyannas!"

Um, I think I feel a new dynamic force taking over the bedroom.


Blogger Pudgie said...

A very nice post, Wagsy. Perhaps, one could draw a parallel between the bears and the Muslims in Lebanon. Maronite Christians used to comprise 50% of the Lebanese population, but now constitute only 40% of the electorate. The original governmental regime, which balanced the Christian and Muslim interests, did not change to reflect the shifting demographics. The bears have been multiplying more rapidly than the people in the household and are proportionally under represented.

Of course, one would not want to take the parallel too far. David does not represent an outside occupying force like Syria. Nor do the bears sponsor groups like Hezbollah. Indeed, if one takes the analogy at all seriously, it breaks down rather quickly. My only point was about demographics.

10:15 AM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Oh my god, this could be my first celebrity cause. Like, I wouldn't want to push away any fans, so I will have to be selective about what I do and stuff, but I could get some really great exposure out of this. And I could totally show that I am an aardvark of substance who cares about important issues like democracy.

10:18 AM  
Blogger Goofball said...

I think we should start by staging a sit in. There is nothing that bears are better at than sitting. I don't know how good we'd be at marching or rock throwing. We could give speeches, too.

"There comes a time in the course of teddy bear / human events, that the teddy bears must rise up and make their voices heard! Four trivial pursuit games and three years ago, our people issued the bears a promisary note pledging a right to cable, silk sheets, and naps!"

I think we're onto something here.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Wagsy said...

Um, Goofball, haven't we been sitting down in the bed for years now? It doesn't seem to have gotten us very far.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Goofball said...

We gotta be creative, Wagsy. There sitting down and then there is sitting DOWN. You know, like John Lennon and Yoko Ono staging the love in. We could hang out and sing protest songs.

All we are saying ...

Is give bears a voice ...

10:26 AM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Like we totally need media coverage. Nothing gets done in the country without the media. Like, I think there is a saying or something about that. Sort of like, if something important happens and there isn't a camera there, was it really like important? Or something. Help me out, Pudgie.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Pudgie said...

I think you might be refering to the old saw, "If a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it, did it make a sound?" While I wonder whether vanity or strategy is driving your call for media attention, I agree with you, Buffy, that media coverage is essential to the success of the protest movement. Outside shame is an excellent motivating force.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Wagsy said...

Um ... isn't David your publicist, Buffy? Doesn't that, um, pose a conflict of interest?

10:31 AM  
Blogger Goofball said...

Wow, Wagsy. Way to rain on everyone's parade. Here we are trying to support you and your idea and you keep shooting us down.

10:32 AM  
Blogger Wagsy said...

Um, I'm just saying ...

10:32 AM  
Blogger Pudgie said...

No, Wagsy is right to think seriously and pragmatically about the logistics of staging an efficacious protest. I suggest we take time to plot the best course of action. We lose nothing by waiting, because the dissertations are due in two weeks and there will be no major upheavals in the household between now and then. I think we are best advised to sit and seriously consider all of our options.

10:35 AM  
Blogger (d)avid said...

May I suggest that you plot in a less public forum, guys?

10:35 AM  
Blogger Wagsy said...

Um, you weren't supposed to be reading.

10:36 AM  

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