Saturday, July 30, 2005

Keeping Track of the Youngin's

We bears don't often disagree. Usually we kinda all think the same things are good or right. That fact may not always be obvious on the blog. I don't know why, but we sometimes get our fur all riled up and start to argue. Not that it gets nasty or anything, but the tone is less than cordial. Maybe the blog brings it out because we're stating opinions. You know, a lot of times we just don't say anything. We just sit around enjoying each other's company in silence. One good thing about teddy bears is that we know when to talk to our humans and when we just have to be there. Anywho, the point is that Wagsy, Gladstone, Buffy, and I agree on 99% of things in life (... Duck? Well, Duck is an ornery bird. I think he disagrees with us just for the sake of it. I think he has anger management issues).

That being said, Wagsy and I seem to have slightly different versions of what happened while Ozzie and Harriet were on vacation. Wagsy seems to think it was a friendly get together with new, well-behaved friends. I am of the opinion that the visitors over stayed their welcome, destroyed property, and ended up being a big ol' nuisance. I say the fact that Pudgie agrees with me should be enough to prove my case. The good professor was traumatized for crying out loud.

Well, just in case Pudgie's frail psyche isn't evidence enough, I'd like to offer some photographic evidence. Now you might be expecting to see pictures of bears sprawled out on bedsheets as far as the eye could see. And I could have taken such a picture, but what would it have proved? Everyone agrees there were many visitors. The "lethargic chaos" Pudgie describes can't really be captured in photos. Well, I suppose torpor CAN be depicted accurately in still photos. Torpor is torpor afterall, but the anarchy and the entropy of the situation would be missing.

So I offer Exhibit A:

Young bears playing in shoes.

You will notice that the young bears we are supposedly training are playing in shoes. Dirty, foul, smelly, disgusting shoes. Just look at the things, I'd almost Bear and Pi play in Yucca Mountain [Editor's Note: Come on, Goofball, my shoes aren't that bad. Goofball: I love you, Ozzie, but that doesn't mean I have to lie about your smelly feet. Your dogs could stop a congested pig at 200 paces. Editor's Note: Ouch.] You might ask yourself, "Self, how did those young bears get into those shoes? Weren't the older and more experienced bears supposed to be looking out for them?" Sadly, I don't have a good answer for you. We were so distracted by our toga party that the little guys wandered off.

When I discovered they were missing, I went looking for them. As soon as I found them, I got the two out of there and set them straight.

Fresh laundry is a good playground

Clean laundry, baby. That's the ticket. Ain't nothin' better than hangin' out in clean laundry. I don't know how long Bear and Pi were frolicking in the shoe pile, so I let them play in the laundry basketball all day. I figured some of the clean might rub off on them and get rid of the nasty foot odors. I mean, straight out of the dryer, the laundry should be the cleanest thing in the house, right? The dirt should transfer from Bear and Pi and to the clothes and nothing in return, right? That's logic.

And the fact that Bear and Pi were associating with hazardous materials is strong evidence that the party was out of control. It's all fun and games until someone contracts a stain or chronic odor.


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