Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Lord of the Flies

It is ten days since Ozzie and Harriet left on their vacation and my worst fears have been realized. A lethargic chaos has erupted in the bedroom. There are teddy bears everywhere: on the bed, in the bureaus, and in the laundry basket of clean clothes. The bears are luxuriating in silken sheets and rotting their brains on a DVD of Brother Bear. The interlopers nap before watching Brother Bear, after watching Brother Bear, and while watching Brother Bear. The overall effect is of an opium den, but replacing the opium with insipid banter from animated moose. The volume on the television is so loud that I cannot concentrate on my studies and I have now memorized the entire script of Brother Bear.

Bo: I guess it's our turn. This is the year I met the MOST gorgeous...
Nookie: No... YOU'RE gorgeous.
Bo: You're gorgeous... -ER.
Tug: Get a cave.
Igor: Oy.
[starts speaking in his language]
Mabel: If only EDGAR was alive.
Edgar: I told you woman I'm right here.
Bo: I love you buttercup.

I may have discovered my own personal hell.

Rutt: You wouldn't like us, eh. We're really gamey.
Tuke: Ya... eat hoof for brains over there.
Rutt: Oh nice, eh. Pinecone breath!
Tuke: Crusty tail!
Rutt: Twig legs!
Tuke: Big nose!
Rutt: [gasp]
Tuke: ...sorry.
Rutt: You went too far that time.

That about describes the level of banter since Ozzie and Harriet left. However, there is one part of the movie that speaks to me ...

[arguing with his echo]
Ram: Shut up!
Echo: Shut up!
Ram: No, you shut up!
Echo: No, you shut up!
Ram: [tired] No... YOU shut up!
Echo: No... YOU shut up!

I fear I have this conversation with the running dialogue in my head every night.


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