My Product Lines are Blowing Up

Like oh my god. I was afraid that my design team was in a funk or on hiatus or something, but it turns out that they were just letting images percolate. They've totally come out with some hot new items.

I also like totally discovered a new model. You probably already know him, but I bet you didn't know he could work a runway like an air traffic controller. His furry and quiet charm just leap off the shirts. Like, I am talking about Wagsy, as if you couldn't guess.

Check out his baseball shirt, and his Jr. Raglan, and his wall clock. Wagsy isn't Aardvark Fabulous, but he is cute and furry. Like he's going to be a HUGE hit with the Grrrls.

So, like, I had to lose some of my own store space, but I'm totally okay with it. I can't be the face of my glorious aardvark fashion empire all the time. I need to discover new talent and get minions to do my bidding. Besides, I'm like so busy writing my memoirs. Like I think the book will be hot, but I'm totally having trouble getting started. Like, what should I call my biography? Buffy: Aardvark from Heaven has a ring to it, but it seems a bit self-aggrandizing. So then I moved to It's Not All Ants and Termites, which I thought would capture my hard scrabble move from the back of the closet to the forefront of the fashion circuit. But then I thought that it wouldn't make my life sound glamorous enough to attract sales. And besides, like it SOOO isn't true, cuz my life IS all ants and termites.

Then I started thinking maybe a "How to" guide would be more up my alley. How to Be Aardvark Fabulous has the sound of a New York Times Non-fiction Best Seller, don'tchathink?

Once I get the title down, I think the book will write itself. That or I'll get one of my minions to take dictation or something. Like ghost writing seems the way to go, but I like worry that I'd lose the aardvark vernacular. It's like almost as important as my look.