Monday, April 17, 2006

Clearing the Air

Wagsy: Ozzie! Ozzie! Um ... hello! Ozzie! Get over here.

Ozzie: Can it wait, Wagsy? I'm right in the middle of something.

Wagsy: Um ... no. No, it can't wait. Get your cheesecake butt over here. Um ... now.

Ozzie: Okay, okay, what's up?

Wagsy: Um ... I thought we had a deal.

Ozzie: We have a lot of deals. Which one are you talking about? The deal not to use you as a Swiffer?

Wagsy: Um ... no. No, that isn't the one I am thinking of.

Ozzie: Hmmm ... the deal to not call the teddy bears "stuffed animals?"

Wagsy: Um ... no. That is a good one. I'm really glad you stopped calling us that, but that isn't what I was talking about.

Ozzie: Then I don't understand what you're getting at.

Wagsy: (menacing but furry glare) Um ... don't you?

Ozzie: (sheepish pause) Well ... maybe I have some idea.

Wagsy: Um ... I thought we had a deal. And you gave me back a crying person. We said no tears.

Ozzie: Yeah, well, I'm really sorry about that. I screwed up.

Wagsy: Um ... you think so, pillowhead? Harriet isn't supposed to be crying. She's supposed to bask in the glow of pregnancy.

Ozzie: That is just false. You know perfectly well that Harriet has not been enjoying pregnancy from moment one. I should be more supportive of Harriet, but her problems with pregnancy are not my fault.

Wagsy: Okay, okay, you got me there. Oooh, if the baby is this much trouble now when it is contained in the womb, just imagine what he'll do when is unleashed on the world.

Ozzie: I'll do my best to see that he isn't unleashed on the bears.

Wagsy: Um, thanks, Ozzie. You know I didn't think that you'd ever warm up to the bears, but you've done a very good job of ... um ... taking care of us.

Ozzie: Thanks, Wagsy. You know, I started out thinking that you were a worrisome neurosis, but I've come to view you as a charming quirk.

Wagsy: Um ... um ... I don't know what to say. Charming is good. Worrisome neurosis is rude. Um ...

Ozzie: You don't have to say anything, you're family.

Wagsy: Ooooh, that's so nice. But that doesn't get you out of the dog house, buster. You still left me with a crying person.

Ozzie: What do you want me to do about it? I'm going to help her out tomorrow.

Wagsy: You're going to march right into that room and ... um ... you're going to ... um ... what are you going to do to make her stop crying?

Ozzie: You're the one who is sympatico with Harriet, you tell me.

Wagsy: Um ... this one isn't so easy. I don't think she knows what will make her feel better.

Ozzie: Maybe I should just go for a walk and give her space.

Wagsy: Um ... I don't think that is such a good idea, Ozzie. Um ... I think you should go be with her.

Ozzie: What should I do?

Wagsy: Um ... I don't know, but you'll figure it out. And ... um ... while you are at it, could you put Monsters Inc in the DVD player? Since no one is using the TV tonight, I thought I would keep it company.


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