Thursday, April 13, 2006

Missing the point

Goofball: Hey, Buffy! Buffy. Have you heard the news?

Buffy: Yeah, it's been obvious for a while now. I was wondering when you would figure it out.

Goofball: Okay, so I'm a little slow. I knew something was up, but I just figured Harriet was putting on a little weight. Horrible isn't it? What are we going to do?

Buffy: Like I don't know if I would classify it as horrible, but like it is going to totally change our lives.

Goofball: Well, I think it's pretty horrible. I really treasure my relationship with Harriet. I'll miss all the cuddling and story telling and playing trivial pursuit and watching golf, or just hanging out. There will be huge whole in my life. I think it is safe to say that it is true for everyone.

Buffy: Yeah, no doubt. Like we're all a really tight family right now, but we're going to have to learn to adjust, you know? This is just part of life's cycle. The sooner we accept that the sooner we can move on.

Goofball: Hmmm ... I suppose that is true, but I don't have to like it. Cycle or not, I don't think I'll ever get over this.

Buffy: The biggest change is that the house is like going to be a total disaster.

Goofball: Excuse me?

Buffy: Like the place is going to be a total mess. You know it will happen.

Goofball: I suppose Ozzie isn't always the neatest guy in the world and he will be depressed, but the cleanliness of the house seems like a pretty minor issue. Your attitude seems pretty callous.

Buffy: Hold on a minute, buster. I'm being callous? I agree that cleanliness is a minor issue, but look how you're behaving. "Whoa is me, I'll get less cuddling." Get a grip. Like Harriet is happy and we should all celebrate the change.

Goofball: Celebrate?! Look I know that Harriet is a sweet kid and I know she is going to Heaven, but I really can't bring myself to celebrate this "life change" you're talking about. I'm going to be sad when Harriet leaves us.

Buffy: Like she's only going to be gone for a few days. Her vacations have lasted longer. What's your damage?

Goofball: What are you talking about? Has the story of Easter made you stupid? Dead is dead and Harriet won't be coming back. Doesn't that make you sad?

Buffy: What are you talking about? Harriet isn't dying.

Goofball: I'm talking about her inoperable tumor. What are you talking about?

Buffy: Oh my god, I can't believe I just wasted time on you. I don't have time to clean up this mess. Go talk to Pudgie.


Post a Comment

<< Home