Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Teaching the fine art of hiding

Um ... hello. Today's lesson is about hiding. Hiding is a very important skill for a young bear to learn. It comes in handy in all types of settings. For instance, suppose a bear orders silk sheets over the internet with his owner's husband's credit card. The husband will be upset for a while about the very worthy and justified transaction. The threats of Swiffer-dom might come true, so it is best to hide somewhere. Preferably one should hide near the owner, so she can protect the brave and justified bear from her angry spouse. Luckily, husbands are easily distracted by things like sports or commercials and the bear can come out of hiding in a day or two.

Or, suppose a particularly messy friend comes over for a play date? A smart bear would find a way to be scarce, so the disgusting guest can't get his grubby claws on him. Oooh, I hope Bear and Pi's people aren't friends with the dirty kid. Um ... I suppose I admire the bears owned by particularly messy children, but ... um ... I'm glad that I am owned by Harriet. She's pretty clean as people go. People can't be as clean as bears, but some are better than others. Ozzie isn't that bad, except when he sleeps. Ooh! It's like the faucet turns on and the drool just flows. At first I was a little offended that he didn't want to sleep with bears, but after watching what happens to his pillow, I think all the bears think it is for the best if we steer clear.

Um ... so you can see that hiding is a very important skill. But we had to select someone to teach it. We caucused about it. Initially, we decided that Platy should teach the course because he's so good at it. But when we went to go tell him, we ... um ... well we couldn't find him. I don't know where he goes. He just kinda disappears. I suppose it is a good thing that he didn't teach the course, because part of the art of hiding is coming out of hiding and being found. Platy isn't too good at being found. You'd think with his giggling, "I'm brown, and I'm round, and I can't be found" it would be easy to find him, but it isn't true. Um ... so anyways, we ended up voting for George, my bunny. His super secret spy training made him a natural choice.

Um ... there wasn't much to describe to be honest. George hid and then came out of hiding. The young bears tried to hide and they weren't very good at it. That might be a good thing since young children aren't good at finding things and you wouldn't want the bears to get lost. Oooh! A small bear could be lost in so many unfortunate places. They could be stuck behind a radiator, or in a closet with shoes, or in a dirty basement, or even worse ... outdoors. Oooh! Such a scary thought.

Luckily, Buffy's photographer was around to capture the events on camera, so you can see what went on.

Teaching the fine art of hiding.
George with the eager students.
Where did he go?
And for my first trick ...
Ooh!  There he is.
Ooh! There he is!
An unusual group photo.
Not your everyday ensemble.
Let the young guns try
Now it is your turn.
Um ... not quite guys.

As I said, maybe it isn't a bad thing that Bear and Pi aren't good at hiding yet.

Isn't my bunny talented? He just disappeared and then he reappeared. He was like ... um .. he was like ... um ... something that disappears and reappears again. Tulips? Madonna? A shadow? A pillowhead? Yes, definitely a pillowhead. Ozzie disappears frequently, but he always comes back. Sometimes Goofball is worried that Ozzie isn't coming back, but I think he's just faking the fear so Harriet gives him more attention. Um ... maybe I should try that strategy.


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