Sunday, February 12, 2006


Holy mackrel are there a lot of zebras in the house! Everywhere I turn I see a zebra. There are zebras in the kitchen, zebras in the family room, and zebras in the bedroom. The zebras have found their way into pretty much every nook and cranny in this house. This zebra infestation is a new phenomenon. We didn't used to have a problem with zebras. They just kind of came into the house and set up shop. At first they were a little shy and were hiding behind things.

Zebra hiding behind curtain

But once they figured out that we are a friendly bunch and wouldn't hurt them, they made themselves at home and started running all over the place. You can't turn around without laying eyes on a zebra. The effect is kind of unnerving, to be perfectly honest. All these beady eyes watching everything you do. It is enough to make a bear paranoid ... but you aren't paranoid if hoardes of feral zebras really are watching you!

And I think they know they are getting under our skin. They tease us. They run amuck and play with our emotions. Here is one sitting in a glass bowl from Murano.

Zebra in a Murano bowl

I can't imagine sitting in that bowl because no one in the house is allowed to touch it! When guests come, the bowl is put away in a padded box and treated like the Q-bomb from The Mouse that Roared. These destructive little zebras are sitting in the most fragile thing in the house (other than Pudgie's psyche) just to put us on edge. The gall! The nerve!

So I've decided that we've got to put an end to this zebra infestation. I did a quick google search to see if our zebra problem was like bird flu and spreading throughout the world. Apparently, zebra mussels are a major problem, but there is no mention of regular zebras. I tried explaining to the guys in the house that only zebra mussels infest areas. Since these zebras aren't mussels there couldn't be an infestation and they should just go home. QED. Sound logic, right? Well the zippity-doo-dah zebras didn't pay attention and continued to tear around with no concern for personal property and personal space.

No wonder zebras are endangered.


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