Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Valentines Day to Me

Like I was kinda bummed this Valentine's Day. Normally I like have someone to project my emotions onto. But like this Valentine's Day, I'm just not feeling it. Last year I was on Brad Pitt like an aardvark on ants on honey. I totally don't regret anything that was said or done -- this aardvark doesn't look in the rearview mirror -- but I just don't feel the same way about anyone right now. Is it possible that there isn't anyone in this world worthy of an innocent crush right now? I've looked around, but everyone seems deficient in some way. Jude Law is a big old skank. Viggo Mortensen seems too moody. Harrison Ford turned like 900 this year. I still think that Ted might be smarter than the actor who played him, at least he didn't take himself too seriously. Nicolas Cage went out and married someone younger than I am, which is way creepy. It really seems like there is noone worthy of a crush.

Either that or that aren't famous enough to help my career. I mean it is totally possible that every high school in this nation has some local hottie that every girl swoons over. But like ... what do I care? I mean that kid might end up being an insurance adjuster or something. And I'm sure that is a perfectly fine job for the former letterman varisty athlete dude, but like it isn't very glamorous. If I am going to make the emotional leap to have a crush on someone I hardly know, that someone better be really famous.

Maybe I'm the one who changed. Maybe I have outgrown crushes. I mean this time last year, I never would have dreamed that I would have my own high fashion ad campaign. Okay, I lied. I totally dreamed it. I was sure that I was going to be famous and thought about it all the time. It didn't happen quite the way I thought it would. I figured I would fire my publicist. That just seemed pro forma. I mean, what star doesn't fire their agent or publicist or friend. I mean how cool is that? Stars can fire their friends! That totally rocks. But like I didn't have an agent and Amelia isn't going anywhere (she's my *rock*), so the publicist had to go. But I kinda thought I would land a gig with CK and not some lame start up company from a totally depressing area of the world. They totally held up their end of the bargain my getting my face all over th NYC, but like I dreamed bigger. I'm sure it is going to happen.

So like I was down for a while and wondering what I needed. After thinking about it for a while, I decided that I have got pretty much everything I need. I get to hang with my best friend, Amelia, pretty much all day every day. She's always there for me, is totally hilarious, and keeps me out of trouble. And Harriet and I are still tight. I mean we've been together all these years and we haven't gotten tired of each other yet. My career may not be A-list glamorous, but I figure I have like a decent shot of getting a corner square on Hollywood Squares, or maybe one of the rows. If I don't ever make the center square, that's okay, you know? Really, when all the ants are out of the ant hill, I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I am going and who I'm going with.

So like, this is a Valentine for me and everyone in my family. I totally adore all of you (and I think I'm pretty cute, myself *giggle*).

Well Grounded Aardvark


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