Those in need

Like sometimes, I get all caught up in my own totally minor problems and don't think about other.

Then this email brought me back to reality ...

Hi Friends of Rose ~

I have received word from Rose's daughter, Josie, that she and Salt are safe. However, she is still going through a horrible ordeal.

Here's what I know as of this morning....Rose & Salt did stay in their apartment to ride out the storm. When their first floor apartment began to quickly flood yesterday morning during the height of the storm, they made their way up to the second floor of their building to escape the rising waters. Rose was only able to grab her cell phone, laptop, a bag of cookies and a few teddy bears before they fled. They remained on the second floor all of yesterday and into last night, awaiting rescue.

At some point during the overnight hours, the Coast Guard rescued them along with 50 other people and dropped them off on a bridge in pitch darkness in City Park. Josie said, by this time, the water had risen to 20 feet around their apartment building and there was a main gas line leak very close to them. So they are VERY LUCKY that rescue personnel reached them in time.

However, they still are awaiting rescue now from the bridge. Rose has very little power left on her cell phone but was able to contact her daughter to let her know they were safe. However, they still have no food or water and, of course, this entire ordeal continues to be very frightening and stressful. And it's not over yet.

Rose will have a lot more to deal with even once she has reached a safe location. Her home and everything in it has been lost. All she has in this world right now is what she has managed to carry with her. Can any of us even imagine that kind of devastation?

Josie has asked that I let Rose's online friends know what is happening and has asked if we would all continue to pray for Rose and Salt's safety. I assured her that we would!

As soon as I hear any more news from Josie, I will forward it on to all of you as I know that all of Rose's friends here are very concerned about her.

If any of you are on any other of Rose's many garden lists, could you please spread the word that what Rose needs right now is PRAYERS and more PRAYERS! I am sure we can all join together and provide her with plenty of those.

Hugs to All ~ Lily

Oh my god, poor Rose. I mean she lost all her belongings including her teddy bears. She must have been very scared and appreciated Salt's company. We may not look like much, but teddy bears can be resolute in times of crisis. We never like flinch in the face of danger and we are always ready for a hug.

So now that I am something of a minor celebrity, I thought I should use my newfound fame as a force for good. Unfortunately, Hurricane Katrina (btw, what a great name ... maybe those National Oceanographic Institute people should serve a naming consultants for expecting parents) is like so HUGE I didn't think there was anything I can do about it. Like Katrina is all over the news, so it doesn't need any more attention. The hurricane caused billions of dollars in damage, and our profit margin on Bear in the Bed Boutique clothing is only one penny ... so like I'm not even going to be a drop in the bucket. I'd like to organize a telethon, but I don't think they allow rising stars like me on television in times of crisis. Seriously, the B-list celebrities just disappear. It's like the network executives decide there is enough disaster on television so they pull any show with Kathy Griffin or Tony Danza off the air. Any-ways, like the point is I'm not sure Brad and Angelina combined could do anything about Hurricane Katrina, so what is an aardvark supposed to do?

As I re-read that heart rending email, like I totally knew what I could do to help out; I can tell the stories of people who otherwise might go unnoticed (and maybe we'll "borrow" Ozzie's credit card while we're at it).

We're pulling for you, Rosie, and keep up the good work, Salt!

Rush to your newsstands!

Oh my god, I'm so overcome with emotion that I can barely talk. I mean, I've dreamed of this moment for so long. My face is finally on the cover of a magazine!!!!



I wanted to tell people for the past few weeks. Oh my god, I was so totally stoked when the editor called. My mind was blown.

I was like, "Hello?"

And the editor dude was all like "Are you Buffy?"

And I was all, "None other."

And he dropped the bomb, "I want to make you my cover girl."

And I was all like in shock and my stomach was doing backflips and I thought it was too good to be true, so I wanted to check it out and stuff. "Like is there going to be a staple through my navel? Cuz I'm an upstanding aardvark."

And he totally split his side and explained that he was starting this new magazine for up and coming stars like myself. And I told him I was all over it like an aardvark on ants on honey.

I was so geeked to be on the cover of a magazine. Oh my god, Amelia bounced around the room celebrating. Then she got all worried cuz like I got all famous and stuff then she might get people taking pictures of her and asking her all these questions about me. I told her not to worry about it cuz if I get that famous, I could totally afford a gated estate that she could chill in and tinted windows in the limo so that noone could see her. And besides, Amelia is totally gorgeous. She'd become a star on her own. I don't know if she'd want to do it because she is kinda shy, but she could. She could do anything.

Anyway this post is about me and how awesome my magazine cover is. Okay, so it isn't exactly what I was hoping for. Like US Weekly would be so much better than US Monthly, but at least I didn't end up on that lame academic US Quarterly that The Onion reported on. That would have been such a drag. I mean I'm fascinating and all, but I really don't want anyone deconstructing my image or analyzing the cultural implications of my fashion choices from a post-colonialist perspective (Amelia helped me with that ... I told you she was a total brain). So US Monthly may not have much cred, but it is waaay better than nothing.

And I was a little disappointed on the photo shoot. First, like I wasn't with Brad Pitt. I always kinda pictured my first magazine cover with be with Brad Pitt. Like, I wasn't even on the cover with some second tier star like DL Hughley or anyone. That was kinda disapointing.

And I didn't get flown out to LA or Milan or New York for the photo shoot. In fact, I didn't even get a photographer sent to me. I thought it was kinda lame that I had to supply my own photographer, you know? I mean I was still excited and all, but it kind of made it seem less glamorous. On my day to be a prima donna, I didn't want to have to do my own hair. But Amelia helped me out. I called up the editor to complain and he explained that since the magazine is just getting started, they didn't have much of a budget or anything. I could totally understand that since I don't have much change either. Like it wasn't as glamorous as I had hoped, but I was still gonna be on the cover of a magazine. And I really like my photographer. He's really brought out the best in me in past shoots. Anyway, I felt good about the shoot.

And look how gorgeous I am. Combing all my hair is sometimes a hassle, but there are some bonuses. Like I'm not showing any pimples or other disgusting blemishes. And like there is no glare off my skin. My photographer says I'm the perfect model. And I like the way I'm taking up the entire cover. It is as if the magazine can't contain me or something. I'm busting out and ready to take the world by storm.

Speaking of storm, I hope the hurricane doesn't cut down on my sales. I don't see why it would. I mean all those people evacuated. They can't go to work or anything. They need to read something, right? And they'll be all worried about their homes and stuff, so they won't be reading anything serious, ya know. Why not pick up a celebrity magazine with an aardvark on its cover?

-----------------------
Editor's Note/Update: Buffy wrote this post before the levy broke and news about the destruction in Mississippi was reported. As far as she knew, there were hundreds of thousands of people who had left their homes and less damage than expected. She feels very badly for the victims of Hurricane Katrina and wanted to take the post down lest anyone think that she sought to profit from other people's disaster. I convinced her that people would understand the time delay and I would write this disclaimer / explanation.

Teddy Bear Games: A Rejoinder -- Take Two

Um ... hello. I'm back. Um ... I just remembered why I was blogging on Thursday. The rest of us wanted to respond to Pudgie's post about game playing. I was going to do it on Thursday, but I got sidetracked by Ozzie. But he's busy at work now, so there won't be any interuptions. He works really hard. If I worked that hard, I'd be a pillowhead, too. Um ... I suppose I work hard at napping and staying soft, but that is different from writing and lecturing.

Um ... yeah, um ... I brought the notes from our meeting so I would stay on target. Basically, we disagreed with a lot of what Pudgie said and we thought we should offer another furry perspective. Um ... I don't seem able to focus right now, so maybe I should just relate the exciting parts of the minutes of our meeting.

Wagsy: Um ... hello. Um ... hello! Could everyone settle down? Um ... hello? ... Moose could you please slow down? Goofball, put down Platy! Hello! Duck! Duck! What are you doing, Duck?! Buffy, could you help me?

Buffy: Like let's get this meeting started, people! If you all don't be quiet, the meeting will like never get started and we'll totally miss Oprah.

Wagsy: Um ... thank you, Buffy. That was very effective. Um ... I trust you know what is on today's agenda.

Platy: Reading the minutes from the last meeting.

[General mutters of agreement.]

Wagsy: Um ... yes, yes, we will read the minutes, but I was talking about Pudgie's last post.

Goofball: What was the man thinking? I've played lots of games with Bear and Pi. We played in the laundry. We played Hangman. We played bear cave. We played find Uncle Goofball the remote control. We played who can stay quiet through the seventh inning. We played find the itch on Goofball's back. These are all good games for the kids to play.

Buffy: Hello! Role playing can be totally important to a young bear's development. Like when your person is telling you a REALLY boring story about work or school or some other thing that puts you on the express train to Yawnsville, you totally have to act interested so they like feel good about themselves. And like it can be really hard playing roles, cuz like if it were easy, everyone would be a good actor and that just isn't true.

Gladstone: I take great offence at Professor Pudge Bear's implication that any bear can "fumble" its way through tea. Nothing could be further from the truth. Participating in a proper tea takes good breeding and refined sensibilities. There is nothing common or fumbling about the hallmark of British culture.

Platy: Are we going to read the minutes? I always like that part.

Wagsy: Um ... I kind of wondered what was wrong with Sorry!. I kinda liked Sorry!. When I sent someone back to start, I was always kind of sorry, so it was nice to say. And I always did like the goal of going home. It seemed a very nice place to go.

Moose: Moose!

Amelia: I thought Pudgie's post was very nice. He expressed his opinion very clearly. And I thought his point about asymetrical blame attribution was interesting.

Buffy: You know what I totally adore about you, Amelia? Like you're a total brain and like you never show it off. It just like sorta slips out sometimes. Like that is so cool. You're a down chick, Amelia.

Duck: Quack, quack quack quack. Quack quack quack quack quack. Quack QUACK quack quACK.

Goofball: And who's going to argue with that sentiment? Certainly not me.

Platy: Last time we didn't read the minutes either.

Um ... the meeting went on a while longer sorta like that. Um ... but you kind of get the idea. We thought Pudgie was unnecessarily rude about many perfectly find activities for bears to do with their people. There is nothing wrong with tea parties or Hi, Hi Cheerio.

Teddy Bear Games: A Rejoinder

Um ... hello. Do you like the title? Ozzie helped us come up with it. He thought that if we were going to respond to Pudgie, we ought to have a suitably academic sounding title. I kinda like the sound of a rejoinder. I like joining people and groups for activities like cuddling and napping and tv watching. And REjoining makes it sound like I have done it before and everyone is familiar and an old friend.

[whisper]

Really?

[short whisper]

Wow. Ozzie informs me that I just deconstructed the term rejoinder. I don't think I have ever deconstructed anything before. Um ... I'm not really into construction or demolition. Oooh, I saw what the contractor did to the house when he was fixing it up and it wasn't very bear friendly. I'm thankful for the work he did, but um ... it's one of those things that I would rather see the end result and avoid the process. A lot of things are like that. I like the bear spa [Editor's translation: washing machine] but I don't think I'd want to be around when Sears made it. I like sheets, but I don't think a sheet factory would be a good place for me. Oooh! I could get sucked into the machine and be made into 1000 thread count sheets. I might like the end product, but I wouldn't be around to enjoy it and that would make Harriet sad.

[Editor's note: Don't flatter yourself, bear. They'd be lucky to bear 180 threads with your sorry polyester filling.]

Um ... a little talkative today, aren't we Ozzie? Feeling a little isolated at work are we?

[Editor: No, not really. Okay, not often. Maybe. Yeah, but what's your point.]

No point. I'm just wondering. Pillowhead. Um ... anyways ... um ... let's see where was I? Rejoinder ... deconstructing ... don't like construction ... um, you know I got off on a tangent. I really don't think I'd like the making of anything.

[Editor: What about a bed?]

Oooh, you're right! I do like making beds. It means there are clean sheets and I get to sit in the clean sheets while the old sheets are being stripped. Yes, I like making the bed.

[Editor: What about making friends?]

Um ... yes, I do like making friends. In just the last couple of weeks we've made friends with Teddy and Spaulding. They sent us a very nice email welcoming us to the web. We've met some other nice people, too. Making friends is pretty easy when you are as cute and furry as we are. Um ... shame you have such trouble making friends ... isn't it Ozzie.

[Editor: Ouch.]

Oooh-ho-ho! I got in a good one. Getting zinged by a bear with stuffin' for brains. That is pretty sad.

[Editor: Not as low as blogging with a teddy bear late at night.]

Um ... why is that low? I think it is very nice and more people should do it. Then we'd have a lot of blogs to read. Oooh, that would be bliss. I could just sit all day and read blogs, when I am not napping of course. Just think of all the useful things I'd learn. New napping techniques. Some health care tips. Teddy bears could write about so many things.

[Editor: Do you even remember what you're writing about?]

Yes, yes I do. I'm writing about ... um ... pillows?

[Editor: No.]

But I really like pillows. Um ... sheets? That doesn't sound right. Are you sure that I am not blogging about pillows?

[Editor: Yes.]

Um ... naps? Oooh, I like napping. I could talk about napping all day long -- except when I am napping, of course. Um ... I dunno, Ozzie. What am I writing about?

[Editor: I'm not telling you.]

Why? Why aren't you going to help me?

[Editor: Because I am sulking.]

Um ... okay. Um ... there doesn't seem to be much point in blogging, now does there? Um ... I'll come back to this when I think of what I was going to say.

Training Games

The bears are still abuzz about the newfound friends on the internet, however, Bear and Pi must complete their training before being sent to their new homes. One area of neglect has been game playing. The reader might find it surprising that I feel a young bear should be taught to play games. Any bear can fumble its way through tea parties and other role playing games. Moreover, most childhood board games require no skill other than rule adherence and the ability to draw a card. In fact, given the general lack of cognitive ability required to play games aimed at children, I have long suspected that the manufacturers have teddy bears in mind as opponents rather than adults. I pity the weary adult who must endure endless games of Sorry! and Hi, Ho, Cheerio. Such games develop no talents other than a tolerance for tedium. I worry that competitive games of chance reify childish notions of asymetrical blame attribution (i.e., I win because of my skill, but a loss is the result of poor luck). These games of pure chance are not worthy of valuable educational time. Rather, we devoted our attention to the game of kings ... chess!

Chess is an elegant game that teaches a young bear the importance of spacing, timing, coordination, resource optimization, sequencing, cause and effect, and a whole host of other laudatory intellectual skills. The players begin with equal resources and position. With no die rolls to muddy the waters, a loss can only be blamed upon the opponent's superior strategy and tactics. A good bear should steer its person towards such noble enterprises and away from the mindless tripe that passes for entertainment.



After a brief introduction to the rules and a tutorial from yours truly, Bear and Pi began to play. Pi immediately took a fancy to the rooks, perhaps because of the short and squat shape of the pieces. As a result, Pi initially tried rook pawn openings to utilize his rooks. The harassment Bear provided Pi's rooks quickly disabused Pi of this notion, so Pi moved to more traditional king and queen pawn openings.

Bear demonstrated a fluid and deceptive style quite shocking for a novice player. Rather than meet Pi's thrusts head on, Bear would quietly develop pieces and allow Pi to over-extend himself. Naturally, Bear's favorite defense was the Sicilian. Pi rapidly grew frustrated with his mounting losses.

Bear's smile cloaks his cutthroat play.

Pi is the picture of tenacity.

In due time, Pi learned to temper his aggressive impulses and the value of positional play. Now, once Pi gains a slight positional advantage, he will relentlessly exploit the slight weakness in his opponent's defense. After two weeks of steady practice, I found myself struggling to beat both Bear and Pi on a consistent basis. I think any young child with a sliver of intellectual curiosity will greatly appreciate the strategic acumen of young Bear and Pi.

We have made contact

The past few days have been tumultuous for the bears. Conveying the depth and breadth of the emotions experienced in our the sine wave of exaltation and despair is difficult. The good news is that we have made a large number of new friends in the past few days. The bad news is that these new friends share our occupation, have more experience, and are more successful at our job. A new window has been opened through which we can see a wondrous world. Unfortunately, the world already contains facsimiles of ourselves. The effect is rather unsettling. The German word unheimlich is the perfect description of our predicament.

Personally, I am neither disturbed nor surprised at this turn of events. Google claims to search through more than 8 billion web pages each day. Such an enormous number makes even unlikely events extremely likely. For instance, suppose 10 out of 100 households in the United States own teddy bears. Of these bear owning households, perhaps 1 out of every 100 possesses a bear with a sufficiently developed personality to blog and contribute a voice. Since 60% of households in the United States have access to the internet, it is possible 66,000 personable teddy bears have access to the internet. Only 6% of internet users maintain a blog (54 million blogs divided by 930 million internet users worldwide). If we assume that teddy bears with internet access share a similar ratio, then there may be 3,832 teddy bears blogging in this country alone. Finding a unique voice amid this furry cacophony could be difficult, but really besides the point.

I have long believed that the internet was a close approximation to an infinite number of monkeys in a room with an infinite number of typewriters. It is --

Goofball: Yes, but they are our typewriters and our monkeys.

-- ah, true. Yes. You are correct Goofball. Ah, I was going to phrase it slightly differently. Perhaps something about the journey or effort, but I suppose you cut right to the heart of it.

Yes, they are our typewriters and our monkeys. How did I get interupted on my own post? I thought this only happened to Wagsy. Where was --

Wagsy: Um, no Pudgie. It can happen to anyone. People just jump in all the time. I don't really understand it.

I see what you mean. I --

Wagsy: But ... um ... while I am here, I thought I'd offer a furry thought for this fuzzy time. Um ... our job is to love Harriet and no other bears are the internet are doing that.

Yes, I suppose that is true. But I fear that you are conflating our role in life instead of the purpose of this blog. The stated purpose --

Buffy: Like the blog is supposed to make me famous. None of the other thousands of blogging teddy bears are going to do that. This blog is totally essential.

Goofball: Does this mean that Ozzie is our monkey? Dance monkey. Dance!

I give up, and I'm going to bed.

The Parallels are Spooky

I know that Pudgie said not to have an existential crisis, but that is mighty hard when there is a website in Australia that is us only not us. It's really eerie. First off, Mawson looks like a combination of Gladstone and Wagsy. Mawson says "um" and Wagsy says "um." Mawson refers to his "people", Harriet is Wagsy's "person." We love to nap and frequently discuss it, napping is one of Mawson's three bear laws. We have frequent meetings, Mawson and crew "confur." We've been training Bear and Pi to be the bear of a small child, Mawson has done the same thing. He even did the kitchen bit!

I'm telling you it's creepy. Two households should simply not be populated by characters so similar. What's even weirder? Mawson maintained his website for five years and we started up about the time he quit. It's like the world decided that it needed the karmic energy of Mawson, so our team pulled together at that precise moment. I'm not only questioning my identity, but also my free will. I've never had an existential crisis, but I'm guessing this is one. Either that or a stroke and I KNOW my cholesterol ain't high.

Maybe I am just jealous. Mawson got onto the web first, so he has all those fancy links and lists of friends and emails from fans. I suppose I shouldn't be envious. I'm in a household that loves me. The sheets are changed regularly. My poetry is developing. I still haven't had to take a bath. Yup, life is pretty good. Nothing to be jealous about -- I have everything I need here in the Bend.

...

WHY CAN'T WE HAVE A PENGUIN IN A HAT MOWING A LAWN!?

Bears of the World Unite!

Um ... hello! Today we made a verrry exciting discovery. It turns out that there are lots of bears who blog. Yeah, yeah. We were a little surprised that we were the only ones, but we just couldn't find any others. But then we found a WebRing full of teddy bear sites and blogs. Wow. Wow.

Let's see, let's see ... ooh! I'm so excited I can barely talk. Um ... Teddy and Spaulding keep a journal with a lot of smily faces. Yuki-kun is a rabbit who blogs and takes pictures. Um ... it's a little worrying that Yuki-kun calls her person "master." It sounds kind of like I Dream of Genie. But Yuki-Kun seems well loved, so that is all that matters. Mawson is an advice columnist for teddy bears. I think that is very nice service to provide. I especially like his photo essay on what to do when your person isn't around. I thought the Atlanta Wagsy's were the only bears who mowed lawns, but Mawson found a penguin in a hat mowing a lawn. Wow. The internet is wonderful. I can order silk sheets, I can invite over friends for parties, and I can see a penguin mowing a lawn while wearing a hat. He looks very good in the hat.

You know, I wasn't sure how I'd feel once we found other bears who blogged. We kinda took pride in being a unique voice for bears on the web. But ... um ... ooh, I'm really excited about the newly found bears. It is good to know the world has other furry forces. Pudgie counselled us against existential crises (I'm still not sure what he meant), but I don't think that was necessary. We're still a unique voice, but now we can hear other bear perspectives. Pudgie also drew a parallel to the search for extra-terrestial life. Until you find it, you might think you're alone in the universe. I know I'm not alone in the universe: I've got my bunny, George.

But if there are space aliens, I hope they are big and furry like Sully in Monster's Inc..

Celebrity Teddy Bears

So like I totally thought I found this amazing book. I mean with a name like The Little Book of Celebrity Teddy Bears how could you go wrong? It should be perfect for me, right? Not only am I a teddy bear, but I LOVE teddy bears. I mean Goofball and Wagsy are so *cute* how could you not want to hug them. And don't even get me started on celebrities, cuz I like know TONS about celebrities and I totally want to be one and I would be totally psyched to hang with them. So like I didn't care whether The Little Book of Celebrity Teddy Bears was a how-to manual or a book on famous teddy bears or about teddy bears owned by celebrities. [And the fact that the book is little is a plus too cuz my paws are short and big books are hard to hold.] I'm gonna like it no matter what, right?

Wrong. I mean, I didn't hate it or anything, but it didn't do much for me. Basically, like Pauline Cockrill might know a lot about teddy bears, but she doesn't know the first thing about writing about celebrities. Like she didn't do any market research whatsoever. How hard is that? Just go down to the local grocery store or gas station and pick up US Weekly or In Touch or even one of the mean magazines like The National Enquirer. I suppose The Enquirer would be a bad call cuz like it specializes in scandals and like teddy bears don't have any scandals. We might have food spilled on us or misunderstandings about funding for silk sheets, but nothing that would be of the slightest interest to The Enquirer. So scratch that last one. Anyway, like the point is, it isn't hard to find a celebrity magazine. If she had even glanced at the covers of the magazines, Ms. Cockrill would have not broken the 3 cardinal rules of celebrity writing:

1) The celebrities need to be doing something. In the The Little Book of Celebrity Teddy Bears the bears are just sitting there like against a mono-colored background. Talk about yawnsville. Celebrities should be hanging out with other celebrities so you can figure out who is in and who is out and where you can hang out to see celebrities. Cuz like if you start only appearing in pictures with Kathy Griffin at the Hard Rock Cafe, then you know you better cash in while you can. The reader wants to know who Paddington hangs with, ya know? Is he down with Pooh and Piglet at the Ministry of Sound or is he chillin' with Courdoroy at his crib? And if you don't show the celebrity with other celebrities, you show them doing something really shockingly ordinary like shopping for groceries. It is shocking because you expect a celebrity to look all glamorous and do glamorous things and stuff, but then you see them look like a schmoe doing schmoey things. I think this gimmick would totally work. "Celebrity Teddy Bears are Just Like Us" would be hot. Tell me that you wouldn't want to see a picture of Paddington putting fish sticks in his shopping cart. Like all I am saying is that this isn't hard and she messed it up by having the bears just stand against a blank background.

2) The writing shouldn't be totally lame. I didn't know "little" referred to the word count. I mean there isn't much text in celebrity rags, but there is even less in this book. I suppose like that wasn't such a bad thing since the text was awful (at least the portions were small *giggle*). There were a few uplifting anecdotes about surviving fires or a rise to stardom, but mostly it was just dull. The writing could use just a little snarkiness. "Brown Fur: Who wore it best?" would totally work. And why didn't they tell me how the Shirley Temple bear curls her hair and keeps her youthful figure? Did they even talk to her stylist? Where were the workout routines and summer diets and shopping tips? Does Paddington get his gear at Marks and Sparks or does he sharp somewhere upscale like Harrods? Inquiring aardvarks want to know.

3) Dynamism is way important. Like everything was static. The bear is famous and valuable -- end of story. Like there were no has-beens or rising stars. Is Teddy Ruxpin the teddy bear equivalent of Eric Estrada? What bears are up and coming (other than yours truly -- two of my flickr pictures have 900 views ... I would like to thank each and every one of my fans personally, but that would take so long because there are so many of you and I type with my snout). Have some teddy bears gone from nobodies to really famous to washed up to really famous again like John Travolta? Is The Heffalump Movie Pooh's Pulp Fiction or his Battlefield Earth? And what about signals that your career is totally down the tubes? Are there teddy bear reality TV shows? That would be so sweet. Put six bears in a house with Tammy Fae Baker, Naomi Campbell, and Jennifer Lopez and see what happens. I would totally be glued to the set.

And my biggest complaint is a little unfair because the title of the book is celebrity teddy BEARS. There were only bears in the book. No aardvarks. No platypi. No dogs. No ducks. Bears are fine and all, but it is a little narrow. It's like US Weekly decided to run an issue with only movie stars and totally ignored musicians, television personalities, has-beens, Paris-ites (okay, I know that is so played, but it still cracks me up *giggle*), and people famous for being famous (like have the Steiff bears done anything except show up on Antique Roadshow?).

Maybe I will have to write my own book of celebrity teddy bears and show them how it is done. It could even be a good vehicle for me. I mean, if I put myself in the rising stars selection, who could object? It would be great exposure cuz people would buy the book for Pooh and Paddington and end up seeing me. And when I'm making the book, I could include lots of pictures of me partying with the celebrity bears. Oh my god, I totally need to do this.

Amelia, get my blackberry ... we're making some phone calls!